Ep. 24 Aravind SA - Get up Stand up

Join us on Stage Matters as we welcome Chennai's stand-up comedy sensation, Aravind SA. While his stage presence is magnetic, Aravind reveals that his career was a complete accident, rooted not in confidence or wit, but in a profound sense of insecurity, desperation, and a relentless need to be heard.

In this deep-dive conversation, Aravind details the surprising mechanism behind his success:

• The Power of Anxiety: Discover how his "perennially anxious and dissatisfied" personality became the fuel for a thriving career built on "moaning and groaning," and how a friend, seeing his dramatic rants as a hidden talent, first tricked him into comedy.
• The Science of Repetition: Aravind breaks down his intensely detailed preparation process, which involves treating a new joke like a hard-coded script change—requiring writing, focus-group testing, and sandwiching it into the full 90-minute set for seamless integration.
• The Obsessive Loop: Learn about his unique and perhaps surprising post-show ritual: recording and listening to every single show's audio while walking. He explains how this daily habit fuels his iterative process, transforming fear into momentum and moving him from "self-loathing to self-love" one playback at a time.
• The Entrepreneurial Artist: Beyond the jokes, Aravind describes his meticulous "end-to-end entrepreneurial" approach to the live show experience. From pre-programmed voiceovers and specific music medleys to coordinating lighting cues for individual gags, he explains how every technical detail is part of a complex, quality-controlled blueprint.

This episode offers an unparalleled look behind the curtain, proving that for Aravind SA, stand-up comedy is less about winging it and more about becoming an Anxious Architect who leaves nothing to chance.

Transcript

My next guest absolutely needs no introduction. He is Chennai's very own stand-up comedy sensation, Arvind SA. Welcome to Stage Matters. 

Thank you for taking the time. Jabs, what a wonderful afternoon this is and I have been looking forward to this. I have been looking forward to actually come to the studio and check the space out and it looks damn cool. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. So, stand-up comedy is not a thing which would have been on your radar when you were a kid. Because like for me as I'm coming from my background as a musician, there was all like even though like none of our parents thought we'll become professionals. 

There was always people playing music and there was like in school you'll have somebody in guitar or something. But like so how did you become a comic? Yeah, definitely accidental. Definitely not something I planned on pursuing at any stage in my career. 

Even after picking it up as a career option, I was not planning on pursuing it at all. I was purely holding on to it for dear life. So, to ask how did I pick it up, I have to explain how the accident actually happened or what led to the accident. 

Sorry, I can only. You are okay with the long answer, no? Go for it. Then okay, I will. 

I love giving exhaustive answers. Exhaustive answers. Fundamentally, I feel people ask one question about stand-up comedians about whether hey, where you the funniest? Where you the wittiest? Where you the most talented one in school who will go on stage for everything and who will pick up the mic for all the cultural events? No, I wasn't that and I was, I don't think you need to be any of that to actually become a comedian. 

I feel I was the one who is the most desperate and the most insecure and the most needy when it comes to wanting to be heard. So, those are all traits that are far more important than funniness and wittiness and confidence. That desperation, that neediness for being heard. 

Because those only make you feel, go that extra mile with everything that you are trying to do. And because you feel internally very disturbed about the situation. You feel very uncomfortable the whole situation. 

So, I feel those are all the things that led to me also finding my own stand-up voice, which made me realise, oh, this voice makes sense. Because it's attuned to my personality, which is continuously perennially anxious and perennially dissatisfied. Those things led to the voice sounding a certain way. 

Like, that's, these are, that's why I feel like a super confident witty funny person can probably write a joke or two. But to have a, build a career continuously on that, you really need to have something that's so innately you about, about moaning and groaning or polemifying and ranting. Those sort of things, which I feel I had a lot more, which led to accidentally me doing stand-up. 

Okay. So, do you remember when your first time on stage was and was it in stand-up or was it in something else? First time in stage in life? Oh, like that. Oh, of course, not at all stand-up. 

I've had plenty of exposure on stage in life. Because I was always interested in participating in dramatics. But that definitely was the right of passage to get on stage. 

Because right from playing the Christmas tree in a room for one Christmas carol type play that we had in kindergarten towards playing Sudama's fourth son in a random play about Sudama, where I don't even know why he needed four sons. If the fourth son has no dialogue, nothing. I've been such placeholders in so many situations where the, where when I went to those plays, the hope was you will get something meaty and meaningful. 

But of course, overall, I feel life has worked out in a way where clearly there are multiple reasons why they don't pick you, right? And because all my classmates, we all went together to that English play or the Sanskrit play. But then for some reason, they kept picking the guy who eventually became the school pupil leader or the cultural secretary or, you know, they saw those patterns. Because those kids were probably a lot more confident or a lot more, you know, better with their skills had developed a lot better than mine. 

And I was obviously a bag of nerves and things like that. So, I feel those sort of, let's call it for the lack of better words, setbacks definitely play a role. Anyways, to answer your question, that was my first experience. 

Dramatics in kindergarten, I was always on stage for school day, as they call it, wherein you have to perform something. I was always there, but never performed anything meaningful or substantial or meaty. Always the ancillary role somewhere. 

Yeah. So, what gave you the inspiration that, okay, stand up, no, I can do this? No, nothing. Nobody gave me the inspiration. 

It was actually my best friend Bhargav, who I often quote in my shows. He was the inspiring person behind it, who saw that, saw this quality in me that he was continuously attending to as a nurturing friend. This quality of, oh my God, this guy can come every day with a new thing to moan about. 

With a new thing to whine about. And every time something happens to him in his head, it happens in such a heightened sense of emotions. And the way he recalls it, it's incredibly dramatic. 

And he saw that as a talent. I didn't see that. I saw that as a bane. 

Right? He saw that as a talent. And that is the difference, right? That's the beautiful thing when, you know, God sends the right people at the right time. And points you towards this. 

Like, no way I would have thought this is a talent. But in hindsight today, when I look back at my last two decades, Oh, wow! I am so glad I had people like that who could think outside the box. Because he was working for a theatre group in Chennai then called Evam. 

And he was working for them. And one of the, he was the one who started the vertical in Evam, the theatre group, the vertical of stand-up comedy. More than stand-up comedy, they called it initially funny monologues. 

So, then they were looking to identify unconventional talents for funny monologues in Chennai. So, obviously, natural thing to do is go for actors and ask them to find writers to write scripts for them. Because actors can't write scripts. 

But can perform funny monologues really well. Whereas in my case, I could, so, he saw me as a thing of, he is neither a writer nor an actor nor a performer, but he can do all of it. He is neither, he is none of it set in stone. 

It's a work in progress across all. But the unique thing about me that he could spot then and trick me to come and join the company of Evam to do this as a part-time gig was the ability to see that your rants are incredibly funny. Now, let's make, let's make that a core competency is what he did. 

Okay. Great. Every artist needs a good producer. 

So, like, so now you've come a long way from those days at Evam and now you're a world famous, travelling the world and doing big, so, like 5000, 10,000 people shows, I guess. No, no. Cumulatively maybe, but 5000, 10,000 level I haven't gone. 

At least the Chennai Trade Centre, the show I came had 5000 people. No, no, no. That looks like that. 

It had only about 2000 people. Okay. No, no. 

I mean, I'm not that big and all. But yeah, let me put it this way. I travel all across to perform to a sizable audience that makes this sustainable living. 

Like somewhere between 500 to 1000. No, this is brilliant. So, I want to ask you, how was your understanding of the live performance evolved from the time when you started to now? Oh, nobody's asked a question like that. 

So, I've never ever paid attention to this part of life. You would have had one idea of what it is to go and do it on stage, like the first time you did. From the school drama, you mean? From the 

school drama or from your first stand-up act itself. 

So, what has been... What has changed? What has not changed, that's easy. Repetition, anxiety and stage fear has not changed to date. Okay. 

There is incredible... So, I've had it all through my school dramatics. I had problems issuing, remembering lines when I acted in English theatre and all in school and college. So, therefore, I'll never get the good roles because, you know, I had to read, to memorise was really hard for me. 

I couldn't do it properly enough, which is quite funny today because today all I do well is memorise and repeat 70 pages of material for every show. Right. So, that's strange. 

I don't know how things work out that way. But... So, what has not changed is the trepidation, the anxiety, the stage fear. But what has changed is... All of that is there... Earlier it used to be there throughout the course of the performance. 

Now that I've built a community for myself where they... You start realising that it's a win-win scenario. It's no longer a... Because in dramatics or college or all those things, it's not necessarily a win-win. You might be performing Shakespeare to a rowdy college crowd who don't give a toss about Shakespeare and play. 

And that... We don't have language restrictions. Oh, is it? Okay. So, then they might completely throw you off. 

They might boo you or whatever. So, there, that is where your true mettle as a performer is tested. Because, oh my God, I have a rowdy crowd who are not... There's a active dissonance with what I am trying to relay. 

How do I still hold my own and see it through? Now, in stand-up, once I got an audience for myself, all these things were out of the window. People were coming to see me. So, the trepidation only lasted for the first five minutes or ten minutes. 

Once you get that first few minutes of laugh or high points or crescendos in the audience's laugh, you feel like a symphony orchestra. Okay, now it's picked up. Then you fly. 

Now, what has changed, I realise is... So, the trepidation is still there because it's almost like one trauma response. Like, when I'm before going, if I'm in the wings, I'm hearing them cheer or I'm hearing my name being called out or I'm hearing... In fact, from the wings, I observe people's chatter. Sometimes I even go stand with a hoodie near the doors to see what are they saying when they're walking in. 

Some random... Anything to... Because I can't rehearse before a show. Like, you mentally, you are not thinking lines. Because you are so hyped up. 

So, at least I'd rather go and do some weird things like this. But all that nervous energy 

changes, that five minutes or ten minute mark, somewhere you'll hit that rhythm, where your fear will convert into momentum. Fear will convert into force. 

And then you'll start feeling that or something pushing you through, no? There, that has changed over a period of time. Because then I become... Sometimes I become possessed. I feel like, okay, I got the lines. 

I got the audience. Let me see how I can express this differently today. That is when you go into a trance state and all. 

By that I mean... It's the same set of lines that you have rehearsed. It's like that zone. Yes, but it's in the zone. 

But now, within this zone itself, what can I discover? Within this zone, what are the different ways in which I can express myself today? And anyways, I record the audio of every show I do with my mobile phone on that bar stool that I keep on stage. So, that is a documentation that I revisit the next day because it helps with my obsessive nature of listening to the same audio clip again. So, you listen to your show... I listen to the whole show again. 

Every show I listen to it. I never get tired because I am very obsessive about, Okay, I did this show in Chicago. I will listen to the whole thing and go for a walk. 

So, that way I am multitasking. So, literally, I will keep listening to the walk. Subconsciously, I will keep making notes on, okay, this section might work this way. 

But it's also worked here because it's in this village. There is a profile crowd like this. So, that doesn't mean it doesn't have to work in Coimbatore. 

So, you have to make such profiling and data points. I keep monitoring down in my script also. So, I keep... these are ways in which I feel like I am just subconsciously opening myself up to more iterations. 

Because if the iterative part of this stops, there is no fun in doing this for me. The iterative obsessive part of it, even though the repetitive part of it doesn't get repetitive at all for me because it's an opportunity to do a new iteration. Okay. 

Even if it's a 1% change, I enjoy that 1% obsession. Okay. It's like very fascinating. 

You are the first stand-up comic I am talking to, interviewing. So, it's... I am also winging the questions. Please. 

Yeah, very few actually listen to their own thing like that. I have spoken to many colleagues. They are like, I don't want to listen to it again. 

Like I can't listen to anything that I play after a show. Spare me. I want to go and... I have to. 

Yeah. When I listen to it the next day, first 5-10 minutes, I want to run away. I want to throw the headphones. 

Then suddenly you will be like... it's a typical process. It's like run. Then there is no running. Sit. Then you are like, okay, calm. It's not as bad as you think.
 It's the whole typical process. Okay, now it's actually not bad at all. Hey, you are good. 

Oh, wow. From self-loathing to self-love will happen in that 60-70 minutes of hearing that audio clip. But it's invariably been a process that works great for me because... I mean, that's... it's a hack. 

And it works for me. And I don't... it doesn't... I don't involve anybody in this process. So, therefore, it... who is suffering? Only me. 

I don't care. I can... I can put myself through that. Imagine if I have to sit and listen to the audio clip again with a team of writers. 

So, I don't do that to others. I do it to myself. So, can you take me through your preparation process? Let's say... let's say a long-term preparation as well as like on the eve of a show or on the day of a show. 

Long-term preparation or what do you mean? Like... not long-term. Okay. Like suppose you have shows coming in a week. 

And also on the day of the show. Okay. So, context is very important. 

If I am already performing... Okay. I am assuming the material and all is ready. The material is ready. 

Context of what flow state am I in. By that I mean if I am actively touring with that material for a while, then if I have a show coming in the week and if I have performed in the last four weeks, even once or twice in the weekend, every four weekends, I am good. Mentally I am good. 

But irrespective of that, I always use the week to do the lines in parts. Sometimes I feel like doing the lines fully, like in one day I can finish. Then the rest of the week is holiday for me. 

By that I mean Monday or Tuesday, I have to do the full script once, finish it, do the changes and discuss it. Because if I am doing a change, I have to reincorporate the change at the script level, then at a performance level, then at a focus group level. Three levels of changes I have to do for it to get hard-coded. 

Unfortunately, that's how it is. It might seem all spontaneous to people. Everything is hard- coded. 

There are comedians who do it spontaneously. Even if a change, they will just tell it. Okay, next 

time from the mind they operate. 

Zakir Khan is like that. I can't get anything from the mind. In the week building up to that show, if there are some changes that I had thought of from the previous four weekends that I have done, and from the audios of those shows that I listened to and I made notes, I will sit down and write those changes. 

Instead of just thinking of it. Then those written changes, that writing will take some time. It won't just automatically come. 

It has to be some back and forth thing you might do. The next day I will deliver the written part. To your focus group? To myself, no. 

In front of mirror, to myself. I have to sound, it has to sound right. It has to do back and forth. 

And then do it to a focus group to confirm it. Then once it's confirmed, my instincts and the focus group's feedback is also confirmed. Then I also do this thing of, now I have to do the whole section from before and after. 

Because the segues and transition has to be good. Because sometimes if you isolate that new portion and only do it, but then in the bigger flow of that show, just because you isolated that new portion, you easily miss out on inserting it. Because it's a 90 minute show. 

Out of which you have written two new minutes. And it's sandwiched in the 37th minute for example. Just rehearsing those two new minutes isolated won't work. 

So what I'll do is, Monday is writing it. Tuesday is focus group testing that separately. Wednesday will be sandwiching it with the bigger material and rehearsing it from T minus 20 minutes and T minus plus 20 minutes. 

You get what I mean? I'll do it in the 20 minutes before and after the two minute segment. Only then will it be incorporated and normalised in the full flow of the brain. Only then will it set for me. 

Otherwise we'll forget. Because there are so many data points, so many pointers. We'll forget to try this new joke. 

After that, by Friday I'll do the whole show. And now I'll want to see if my brain remembers that two minute part that I added. And then Saturday I go deliver. 

This is pretty intense. Sometimes. But there'll be times where if I do a US tour, where I'm doing a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday shows. 

It keeps going like this. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If I go for three weeks, I don't even look at iterative things. 

Because I'm fatigued then. For me, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday is the break. So I'll ask them to leave me for those three days. 

Because it's like tape recording. In the morning, they'll send me a play button. I'll say, good evening ladies and gentlemen. 

So you're so wound up. So when you're in that zone, I'm not really looking to iterate much or worried about lines remembering much because I'm in a zone. So I know whatever you give me, I just need to write a simple bullet point on my phone and look at it before getting on stage. 

Because I'm so on top of my game. But then post a US tour, you come back to India one month, you're not doing any shows, you've taken a break. Then you do an odd weekend here or there. 

You'll forget. Which is why I have to do an intense week to work myself up to that level again. If the workload intensity decreases, you have to recreate it. 

In the US, I don't have to recreate it. I have work, actual work. Whereas if I'm in Chennai waiting for a show on Sunday in Music Academy, for the whole week I'm doing nothing and the last one month I've been dormant because I need a break, suddenly you're not going to work yourself. 

It's like a gym. You can't go straight and lift 150 kilos of deadlift. You phase yourself through it. That's how you have to do it here. At least for me. Okay. 

Brilliant. So what about the day of the show or the day before the show? Do you have like things that you don't eat or drink? Oh, yeah. Physical processes. 

So on the day of the show, I'm always, so I'm generally over anxious. Therefore acidity plays a big role for those who are also dealing with anxiety. So that doesn't help at all, acidity. 

So therefore to avoid acidity, what I do on the show day, which effectively means, so when you're touring and you're on your own and if I don't have friends' houses that I'm staying with wherever I go, then I don't, one of the perils of that, because when you're travelling outside Chennai and if you go to a hotel, I don't like staying in a hotel. I like staying in a friend's house. Because I have a feeling of going from that house. 

Everywhere I go, I have that feeling. But if I stay in a friend's house, the advantage is, when I wake up in the morning, there will be something. I don't have that feeling of having a cup of coffee and talking to them. 

Because then I'll lose my appetite. For example, if I'm by myself in a hotel, I just don't like getting up and going and going to the buffet and putting some, I'm very, I don't treat my body well enough. At least used to. 

Now old age has humbled me. So, before any master health checkup shows up any red flags, I 

myself go and stuff the meals at the right time just to ensure acidity doesn't happen. But a lot of my show day prep comes down to just ensuring you're in a good headspace. 

The good headspace comes from how prepared I feel. If I'm super prepared, then I'm happy socialising with whoever I'm staying with or I go in the, I go explore the city in the day and just go to the venue casually in the evening because I know the lines. If I'm underprepared, I isolate everyone out. 

I tell them, nobody come near me. Just give me the reporting time and tell me, and tell my team what to do. So that when I come, I tell them, I'll come only half an hour before the doors open. 

Which means, I'll give you half an hour to take me through the rehearsals and the tech checks and all that. Why? Because I need every bit of the time in the day to make up for my underpreparation. Do you understand? Like, if I'm super overprepared, then I'll tell my team, I'll come four hours before doors open. 

We can casually check tech, chill guys. So it comes down to the mind space of how underprepared or overprepared you feel. So that dictates how well you eat or how how badly you eat. 

Because when you're angry about being underprepared, you don't feel like eating. I tend to punish myself saying, in that anger I'm like, you haven't rehearsed for dinner yet. You've been screwing around for the whole week. 

That's how you get into that zone of, you're not done. So I don't eat. If I eat, I'll get acidity. 

If I get acidity, I'll be restless during rehearsals. Of course, these are all the old... See, I've been doing this from regularly from 25 to 35. This is how I behaved from 25 to 30. 

From post 35, life humbles you in a way where you really can't fuck around with your body anymore. So now, definitely on show day, I'm very mindful about eating the right things, eating the right time, reacting to body's stress levels and hydrating a lot. Hydration is super important because my throat gets dried. 

So, I have to ensure I'm over-hydrating and over- peeing and all of that just to ensure that okay, everything is good. Thankfully, nothing has ever happened from a point of view of scarier on stage if I look back at it. I've done maybe thousand shows but no, nothing. 

So, you talked about tech check. We do sound checks. It's a part and parcel of what a musician's life is. 

I have no idea about what a sound check or a tech check for a stand-up comedian involves. Can you like... Yeah, so see, again, it comes down to how easy or how you approach your craft. There are many comedians who are happy to just be like, put on mic, put on spotlight, announce my name, put some random hyper music. 

You choose whatever music, I don't care. I will come. From there, I will take it. 

So, that kind of comedians' mentality is, even if you put me on a pedestal and give me a spotlight, all your drawbacks will be overcome by my comedy. If you put me on a pedestal and don't even give me a mic stand and tell me to do it with my mouth, I won't worry about anything other than that. That's what I said. 

There are some comedians who come from my type of background, which is insecurity, anxiety, neediness when it comes to being heard, etc. There are some comedians who come from super, uber confident backgrounds. Wit, skill, genius in writing. 

They are like this. Put me anywhere, I will take care of it. If I am like this, oh no! My preparation, my co-workers died because of that. 

Oh no, because of his insecurity, he is taking 10 times more work than us. So, for example, I don't like to just walk up on a show and be like, yeah, I am here. They have come to see my face. 

I am the brand. They will overlook anything. No, no, no. 

For me, I don't know. It's a good thing only, I feel. I am involved in the show experience end to end as an entrepreneur, not as a performing artist. 

By that I mean, if I am obsessing about my lines and my preparation of those lines and all of the readiness and all of that from a pure artist point of view. On the other side, in the week that has a build-up, I am also obsessing about my team's back-end preparation for it. Right from, say, the on-ground productions team, like what is the ticketing, what are we doing ensuring that ease of ticketing and all of that is happening and what other experience are we creating with respect to inside the venue experiences. 

Post-show, how are we curating the meet and greet, if at all there is any. These are all at a surface level, fan experience point of view. Now, there are show experience segments, which is the tech part, which is, I am very particular about hey, when the doors open, this is the song I want to be playing from T minus 45 minutes to T minus 15. 

This is the lighting setting for that when they are coming in. And this is what the visuals on the LED wall should be going in that section. Then when it's 15 minutes to go, this is what the voiceover should say. 

And we pre-programme the voiceover saying, ladies and gentlemen, it's 10 minutes to go. Here are some do's and don'ts. And then, this is what the LED wall should then start showing for the last 5-10 minutes. 

And these are the set of songs that we should be curing because the tempo has to go. I literally, T minus 2 kuda I create a medley of songs, the medley of with the pre-programme 

announcement and a lighting change accordingly. So, there's a light change, there's a sound change, there's an LED wall change. 

And all of this, there's a blueprint. Now, this blueprint, I will have to ensure with my team that I have to liaison with the on-ground teams that are there in every venue. Because I don't take my team with me to every show. 

So, I have a core team sitting in Chennai. But their job is to, hey, you know the venues where we are performing. I'll give you the contact. 

Reach out to those stakeholders in those venues. Find out who's coming on that day to provide LED support. Who's coming on the day to light support. 

Who's doing sound support. Get on Zoom calls with them. Tell them, this is the show. 

So, when I ensure those pre-production things happen, I don't sit on those calls. Initially, I had to when they had to train them. Now, they know our blueprint. 

Once you made a blueprint out of it, it's easy. So, then what I tell is, please over prepare them. So, when I go to that venue three hours before the show, they already know the cues. 

They already know the language of our show. Because in some of my shows, I also have some stuff that is happening in the show. Like now, entry point Some jokes have light gags. 

Now, in the We Need To Talk, you might have seen the Dalabadi portion where me interviewing Mr. Maniratnam. And I recreated that Maniratnam's assistant director is confronting me about a fuck up I did in the interview. When they came and I wanted to recreate it with the Dalabadi in mind. 

So, therefore, we were like, he'll come close to my face, the assistant director, and I'll be like, he's going to slap me or something. And then he looks at me and he's like, Why? There, that yes, specifically recreated to attempt to joke about those Dalabadi lighting, high contrast, soft decibel, like and I'm like, Deva, that's my response, right? Now, that joke segment, we lit it up in a, the lighting changes from what it was for the actual show lighting. We make one contrast top light in a very conical structure about it. 

So, stuff like that needs preparation because not all venues will have it. So, your tech writer will have to send it. Now, if that venue doesn't have it, then I have to take an entrepreneurial call on do I go ahead with this venue despite it not having the light support, but it working out economically much viable to me. 

Because there might be some other venue that gives me the light support that I need. But the venue cost will be so much that I'll be losing on the margin. So, it's a trade-off that I can only take that call. 

As an entrepreneur and an artist who knows the product, who knows the crowd, what is the 

trade-off? If you don't do even a single rupee for a very highly produced show, who are you? So, these sort of calls are there. So, anyways, therefore it's a very invested process in the pre- production stage and it involves alignment between multiple stakeholders and I'm obviously overseeing all of it while also doing my content individually. Okay, brilliant. 

You spoke in great length about preparation and your intensity of preparation. I want to ask you, like, what role does improvisation play in your... So, improvisation... Yeah, it's a big... I would say... My Achilles heel is improvisation. Because... See, I love people who improvise. 

Improv is a form of art form that I've tried a few times in my tour like this. When I go to New York, when I go to Seattle, I just go to improv workshops. They are very kind in that world. 

And it's scary because improv is exactly the opposite of what I do. Improvisation is opposite of what I do. I improvise while creating. 

Yeah. By that I mean, when I'm creating this idea, I'm improvising randomly in my head. Yeah. 

But I'm such a control freak that whatever improvisations I've done also, I try to narrow it down to this is the best iteration of those improvisations and I'm narrowing that down and only that. So, your performance is like... Only that, yes. Because I have done the quality check process that I feel like can hold its good like an ISO Therefore, I'll never second guess it. 

So, my improvisation all happens there. A lot of comedians don't do this like this because they are not this intense about it or their different mentality. They look at improvisation as the reason to even do the job. 

Why am I doing every week? Because every week I have a chance to improvise. And why does that excite me? Because improvising means something new, something learning. When I see them, I'm a hats off to you. 

I love the confidence. I love the fact that you have gifts like that that you can tap into so comfortably that you are getting on stage and then only realising I can improvise only today. I'm like, do you have that much confidence? Without testing the focus group, without over preparing, without rehearsing 8000 times, that's possible. 

In fact, I can also, in all honesty, probably do it given how much body of work I have today. My instincts probably are way sharper than I can. But my control freak nature would never let me do it. 

So, therefore, improvising for me happens over at the preparation stage. On the show day, improvisation would probably be 5% to 10%. Okay. 

And your show that I saw, like you were riffing off the crowd and that was like, what was the name? Deepika and Vashisht. Deepika and Vashisht. Oh, yeah. 

See, those also, funnily, even though I'm getting into the crowd to talk to them, you would be 

shocked to see how many, how prepared I do that part. In the sense, I will write in my script, here we are entering into the crowd. Then I do a flow chart there. 

If it is a boy and they say this, we go here, here, here, here. If it is a girl and they say this, we go here, here, here. It's also because you're like very different from other people I've talked to, you know. Correct, but... Mostly musicians. But you thought... Prepared things. 

No, it's totally... But you thought, I'll be an improviser, but here I am telling you, I'm a notes person. And you're like, I'll do it without notes for him, I'll do it in free flow like him. He's preparing more than us. 

So what is your relationship with the audience? How do you see them? Do you see them as like active participants or are they just like passive observers of your show? I'm more passive than active, because like I said, since I'm so prepared and overprepared and I go with a very specific zone in mind, I'm like, You only talk when I ask you to. So it's like, I'm very... I'm very like Ilayaraja. I'm very Raja sir, like you don't know decorum. 

So that is purely because when you're so intense about the framework you have built in your head for this show, anything that throws you off here and there, it pisses me off. And now, I should work on this because it's clearly anger issues. Because sometimes I've shown it on stage where people tend to be smartasses in shows, especially in a comedy show. 

Don't even call it heckling. It's not like that in India. Heckling is when they have something aggressive to say back to you, where they have that level of courage or that level of indifference. 

You know, that level has a certain quality in that country. That quality exists in America now. What do you call it? Irreverence. 

You can call that heckling where there is irreverence. What we do in our country is not irreverence. What we do in our country is just pure attention-seeking behaviour. 

You know what I mean? In schools, if there is a gap between the teachers and the class, if there is a gap between two lines, they try to get the class to applaud by saying something smart. When there is a dip in the theatre for a moment, they say someone is smart. I've seen more of that in our country. 

It's not heckling. So, when people do, sometimes it's that. Sometimes it's also you have people giving you honest responses. 

For rhetorical questions, that is part of my script. Do you understand? Like, for example, in my script, I'm just saying, No, sometimes I wonder, is it even worth it in life? I'll say like that. Immediately, someone from there will say, No, not worth it. 

I wasn't asking you. But some lines hit them so well. And they are so connected with you. 

And they feel so... See, that's one advantage and disadvantage. With me, I've seen people come and say, Hey, yours doesn't feel like it. So, yours feels like, I'm actually there with you in your life. 

I'm connecting. Like, one of the best feedbacks I've gotten is, for We Need To Talk, as I said, it felt like I'm sitting in your living room and listening to you pour your heart out. Some of it is incredibly funny. 

Some of it is incredibly touching. And it felt like that. That's a super personal space to be able to access. 

So, sometimes people react to the lines. I've had that. No, I don't get triggered by them. 

I just wish... I mean, I understand because they got carried away. Like, if we're going to a musical concert, and the riff goes really well, at one point, we lose it in real life. We start clapping, initiating that applause break or something. 

I can understand that happening. But a lot of times, also, audience tend to get so excited because, Hey, we're in a dark room. Everyone's hyped up. 

Come, let's do a comedy show. Come, let's do a comedy show. Where they don't realise, Hey, don't give it back. 

I didn't ask you. Just answer me. I've rehearsed for a week. 

I want to do a good job for you. Try to understand. I'm not someone who enjoys being thrown off and who can get back. 

They think, That's what I'm saying, bro. They'll say, you scolded me 10 times worse. I don't scold you worse. 

That's my script. My core competency is not... There are some who enjoy that. Oh, you threw me off. 

Oh, wait to see me lay into you. There are people like that. Jimmy Carr will do that. 

But I'm not like that. So therefore, Audience interaction is very, very low for me. It became much lower because I started writing far more script-heavy stuff. 

Because when I do script-heavy stuff, I'm just telling the audience, Why do we need to interact? Just let me do my thing. You sit without your mobile phone, without your mind chattering. Just come with me immersively. 

Just go. Leave it. Why do we need this in the middle? Because I'm so obsessed with my structure. 

Many comedians are happy. Oh, did you say something in the middle? Pause the script for a 

second. What is that? They'll ask like that. 

Come again. When you make them say it loud, that itself will be the joke. It will be so inappropriate, so dumb, or so irrelevant. 

Did you go to my floor to say this? But I take it so personal. In terms of the anger I feel about it. I'm very old school like that. 

I don't be like, Oh, cutie, you should shut up. I can't do that. There are people who shut them up beautifully. 

I'm like, Organiser, throw him out. Throw him out. Refund the ticket. 

I throw out with integrity like that. Since you brought up organiser, assuming that, I guess you self-produce a lot of your shows. Everything. 

You don't deal with organisers at all. I do. But I don't deal with organisers who have bought me out. 

I deal with organisers who are partners with me. Therefore, everything is collaborative. Which means, every decision we take, you and I are in on it together. 

Then my question is not valid. No, please tell me. What would you expect from an organiser? It's very valid. 

Hiring you for a show. Instead of hiring me for a show, change the word to partnering with me for a show. Because hiring is, which is why, as a control freak, I don't like to be hired. 

Okay. As a control freak, I'm saying, No, no, you can't hire me because I am bloody. That's a disgusting mentality. 

But it works for me. Let me hold to it. I'll keep my bubble with me. 

I'll live with it. Because, then you attract the right type of people only. When you are very black and white about this. 

As a control freak, I'm saying, I'm not available to hire. Which means, money is not my primary motive. Then, let's see who you and I are. 

That filters out 90% of them. Oh, how much did you give him? Okay, so $5,000, sir? Then 10 lakhs? 20 lakhs? Why? Even if you give me a crore, I won't give it to you. Unfortunately, I like the principle. 

I like the principle to an extent. I like it in unnecessary places. But good things have happened. 

But what it does is, So, therefore, when they no longer realise that money is nothing, what I look for, So, you asked me, what do I look for in an organiser? Instead of organiser, I said, let's 

call it partner, a business partner. What I look for in a business partner then is, one, high integrity. Because I feel I have that a lot. 

Which is why I prepare like this for every show. Why? In my head, I am the one who is asked to give this much money. If they give money and come, I am the one who decides the ticket price. 

Because I associate that value with it. Because then, I have a, my biggest motivation for jobs in life is, live performing arts has to be sustainable. People have to understand the value associated with it and start normalising that value. 

And if that value can be normalised only by people like us who are, say, necessarily making big strides, then we will start doing it by setting the bar that high. I tell all the people out there who are in the midway stage, don't play the short game by diluting yourself and giving it to them at a, at a small level. Like I tell a caber himself that, for example, in the gig, I tell him, you are underselling yourself. 

You should do more. But, I wish, not all artists have that sort of an entrepreneurial nature to them, like, say, how I have. Caber is more of a very artistry artist. 

He's not much into the entrepreneurial side for this. He's getting, he's improving. Yeah. 

But it's taken him so long. Like, I've been like this from the day I got into this, where I'm making a few hundred rupees a show. Yeah. 

So, to answer your question on what I expect from my partners, therefore, is absolute integrity. By that, I mean, therefore, integrity is where I overprepare like this because I want to justify the premium value that I would like to associate arts with. And I want that to be normalised for the people out there because we are growing up in a culture where art is not valued at all. 

And art is completely overlooked. And how the hell will we ever change that? We have to change it by upping the ante in our own products and not just upping the ante there, but also upping, also justifying the value that we are projecting ourselves. It's one thing to say, Hey, what's the point? So, for them, the people who I align with, I have to see that value that I'm associating with it. 

So, then only, then that means for them to see the value, they have to first have that integrity in the first place. They should also be appreciative of the fact that as a partner business, as an art show organiser in Australia or in USA, whatever, I, the fact that so many people are willing to come out on a weekend to, for an art show and pay this much, I am going to go and attend to every detail of that campaign with the same intensity and the same integrity and the same, you know, intent on quality in deliverable. It's difficult to find partners like that. 

So, I, and that's one of the things I look at. I tell them very clearly, I'm a very demanding partner. I'm very demanding because this is my motivation to demand. 

My motivation to demand is not to make you work 20x harder and me chill and just, you will see me work 30x harder. But I don't want you to take this lightly off. Oh, I say that I say shows are sell out. 

If the objective for you is to just partner with me for a show and watch me sell tickets because of my name, then there ends the game. I don't want to do that. I'll never work with you again. 

And I've had many organisations, I'll never go back. I'll find the harder way of finding a local citizen in the tour who doesn't know anything about organising him. And I've taught them the ropes of it end to end because I trust them and I trust their work ethics and I trust their integrity. 

I don't care that the lack of know how can also be easily attended to at my level, at my level of scale, because I'm a one piece band. So I'd rather do that than go with the official partner, ongoing partner who I know doesn't care for the product is only doing it just to churn. There are many. 

So in the waiting process, so most of the countries, the organisers I have, they go the extra mile. They enjoy going the extra mile. They appreciate that about me as an artist. 

They like to be pushed and they understand why we are pushing each other. And they understand the end goal is for that 90 odd minutes, the people who've come paying premium value in their country and whatever the currency is, they should go back feeling, wow, it's just end to end. Superb. 

Okay. Okay. Do you see any difference in the live performance ecosystems in other country, Western countries and India? Massive. 

And so like in any specific things you have, because I like the auditoriums and the tech that is available, the support. Yeah. So I go to the, in fact, in a week's time, I'm off to the fringe festival in Edinburgh. 

Now, this is something that I do every year, ever since I started earning and I could afford to fly to UK the last seven years. Yeah. I started watching leads at the first opportunity. 

Once I started earning and I combined watching leads with watching the Edinburgh fringe festival. What is Edinburgh fringe festival? It is the most prestigious live performing arts festival that happens in the world for theatre, standup, sketch, improv, musicals, etc. Alternative standup. 

But it's all driven towards theatre and comedy and the musicals and stuff like that. It's happening in Edinburgh for 77 years. Okay. 

I got to know it through my AVM days because AVM had one single man play that they took to Edinburgh to perform there. 10, 12 years ago called Ali J. So anyway, that's how I got to know 

about Edinburgh. And yeah. 

So, to answer your question, I'm going there and it's something I go every year. Why I go? It's for me, that's the pinnacle of art, the pinnacle of live performing arts and going and accessing that, like I attended, say, Monday to Friday. One hour each shows. 

Fatigue, brain, brain, but I don't care. I don't even remember anything. This is my addiction. This is my cocaine. This is my whatever. Inject this into my veins. 

I would have seen 8 shows in a day, 40 shows in 5 days. 35 to 40 shows without a break. If I wake up, if I take a shower, it's straight to the venue. 

12 o'clock in the afternoon, 12 o'clock in the evening, the last show. Back to back, I'll plan it, I'll properly research about the performers. Because you have in that city, in the whole month of August, Edinburgh Fringe Festival means, the whole month of August, you have about thousands of shows happening, by thousands of artists, who are all given the same venue, the same time slot in that venue. 

Okay. Did you get the record? No, no. So, yeah, so long story short, having been exposed to this sort of a, a festival that, that I go there, purely to be inspired by, how they are pushing the art there. 

For them, the average bar for stand-up comedy, is what I think India will get to, 100 years later. Because they're so ahead of the curve. The average bar in general play, or in musical, or any other form, or sub-genres of stand-up comedy, they're so ahead of the curve. 

Why? Because, it's so mainstream there, that they have to innovate. Yeah. They have to reinvent themselves. 

In what way do you, are they like, you mean? Like, for example, a love story, will still run in Chennai today. A basic love story, won't run in Malayalam. Yeah. 

For example, love subject. Yeah. You have to do something else. 

Yeah. Like, a basic gangster, some won't work, but Aavesham worked. They, see, that reinvention. 

Basically, where craft is pushed, right? And craft is pushed, and craft, the pushing of that craft, is very, how do I explain it? It's a, it's growth is there, not just in one, vertical, in three, multiple verticals, the growth, or rounded growth, ecosystems, what I feel is, the ecosystem will, also be growing along with you. It's not just be, one or two verticals alone. Like, in Tamil cinema, I feel craft is pushed only in, one or two verticals. 

Like, say, the mass heroes, you see that level of, craft being pushed. But, in other, you don't. So, there's no rounded growth. 

So, in Edinburgh, for example, rounded growth is there, in all the crafts. Like, a random English play, to a musical, to a sketch comedy. What is a sketch comedy? It's just, 60 minutes, or five minutes sketches. 

Like, Monty Python sketches. They've grown up having, Monty Python on radio, and television, all their life. So, when they perform it, obviously, they have already done, the A to Z of, the basics of it. 

So, if someone comes to do the basics, in Edinburgh, he wouldn't even make the cut. So, the audience are so evolved. So, ecosystem is evolved. 

Therefore, it enables everyone to push. Okay. Which is nice. 

Okay. I mean, that doesn't mean, if you give something basic, they will eat you out alive, and throw you out in the dumps. But, you will have your space there. 

But, those who are pushing, will also have their space there. And, all of you will find a nice space, in this ecosystem, which I feel, is an ideal place to be in. So, in, in, therefore, sorry, the question you asked me, is about how, How is it different? How is it different na? When the ecosystem itself is evolved like this, that means, the ecosystem opens itself, to all sorts of, infrastructure wise support, and, logistics wise support, and, you know, generally, create, that whole experience, for the average fan, coming to watch the show there itself, is heightened in many ways. 

Where, they cherish art as a, as a integral part of their culture. Okay. So, I feel that is, those are all things, even if it's a 40-seater, there is a story to that 40-seater there. 

It has one small pub, that has only one type of, lager that they, for example, they are giving there, or, and it has that one guy, who's been working in that, pub, who also opens the door, who also manages the stage, who also cleans the green room. And, that 40 people, 40-seater is where say, the Ed Sheeran's have performed, the Seinfeld's have performed. you have stuff like that. 

My point being, in that 40-seater, they'll go that extra mile, to have a projector and a screen, for example, because, they identify, that it's, common, that today's times, people are using multimedia, for common, for, in some way. So, this is, see this continues adapting, while keeping the rest of the place old school, while also evolving in whatever ways. I, this I feel, when, when an ecosystem, in all these infrastructure, and all the other things I mentioned, if it can start, levelling up, you know, going one level higher every time, it makes the end user, who's the consumer, generally feel, a lot better about consuming art, and being patrons of art. 

As opposed to right now, being patrons of art here, in India, I feel, the difference is, you're not really patron of the art, as much as you're a patron of that artist. Yeah. Celebrity culture. 

Yeah. Therefore, you're willing to, put up with all the nonsense, that you get, that you 

experience, in the logistical, situation, from you, booking the ticket, to you, consuming that product live, only because, you feel that, as that person, as that, that artist, who you admire, you love him so much, him or her, or you, you love that, whatever about them. Adhika, you're willing to, and my point is, you shouldn't be willing to do all that. 

Yeah. And that, as that artist, is as much, responsible for, working on this experience, and the ecosystem, but as much as, the patrons are too. But unfortunately, that's where, I don't know how to, go about changing, but that's the biggest difference, I feel. 

Outside India, like for example, all my favourite Indian musicians, whoever I, grew up admiring, to date, I will never ever, I made a vote to myself, ever since I started, doing live tours, and I started seeing the world, for what and how, their live experiences, and how India's, live experiences is. I told myself, I never watch, an Indian musician in India, ever. If there's no other way, then I have to watch, K. Varna here. 

Of course, I will support, my go-to people, who I have to support. But I'm just saying, for example, Ilayaraja, I will fly and go to, Wembley and watch him. It was outstanding. 

I saw, Pradeep Kumar, with his symphony orchestra. I went with the band, and saw them in Malaysia, in a stadium. Outstanding. 

You think I can get that, in YMCA Saidapet here? No chance. Just the end-to-end, experience itself, is outstanding. So, Anirudh, I went and saw him, in Singapore. 

So, I feel, where the ecosystem, is better, the product, and the artist, their performance, is way better. And we are, so far behind, and I don't think, in my lifetime, or our lifetime, we'll live to see the change. And I'm generally, very cynical. 

please do take my opinion, with a pinch of salt. You can see it, even like, in the biggest money- making, body in India, like cricket stadiums. Exactly. 

Exactly. Fan experiences, it's pathetic. Correct. 

Why do you, Why do you, You go to a place like Sri Lanka, and it's like, so much like, But people ask me, why do you go to Leeds, and support Leeds, Because, supporting Leeds, is far more rewarding for me, than supporting say, the Indian cricket team here, in India, going and travelling, or even Chennai Super League. Going and watching a match, in the stadium is like, horrible. It's horrible. 

So, yeah. They don't care about that. They just don't care. 

When you don't care about that, and you're exploiting, and preying on this, vulnerable part of the masses, it's a, yeah, it's an unfortunate situation. So, let's talk about money. Now, especially when you didn't have much, and you were entering this, tricky profession, where like, not many people make it, and make a living. 

So, how did you, navigate that, situation when, in your early days? And what advice, would you give to, aspiring young, people who are, how to navigate, the financial aspect of it? Yeah, so, well, I have to answer this question, in a very diplomatic way, because, normally the, true answer to this, is giving up a lot of, exploitative methods, prevalent in this ecosystem, that I had to, kind of, call out, and fight against. But, we shall not get into, that much. If I have to diplomatically, address that, then I'll probably say, you have to first, say that, here's the thing, let me, I'll speak for myself, because, sometimes I struggle telling, rather than what you do, I'll say what I do, if that makes sense, then okay. 

So, I was always interested, in the, entrepreneurial part of, this. That is the, money part. The entrepreneurial part, is the economic part. 

You can't just be like, I'm interested in money, can't just be the case of, how much do I get? If you're interested in money, your interest should not be about, what do I get? Your interest should be about, how does this function? What is that? Supply chain. What is the whole, supply chain like? Why does this function? How does this function? Understand the whole, ecosystem. Then, what do you get? You start, micro-analysing, you'll approach it, with far better, clarity, and then, based on your needs, or your personality, you can take calls on, where you, how you, approach strategy wise, on, your equation, relationship with money. 

For example, are you willing to give up, more share of the money, in return of, less fucks to give? Okay? For lack of a better word, logistically, and all that, all the other things. Are you that type of a person? Or, are you willing to take on, more fucks, on your plate, to get a bigger share of the money? So, for that, you need to understand, the, end-to-end, supply chain angle of, the business, than just understand, the money, and that is what I did, I felt, from the time I got into it, and, was barely making anything, for the first, so many years. You were always very clear, about, not giving any fucks, from the beginning. 

No, no. I was the opposite. If anything, in the last one hour of us, having this conversation, you should know by now, that I am, anything but, not giving a fuck. 

I am all about, giving a fuck, about unnecessary things too. You shouldn't give, so many fucks. So, I was always, too, first about, everything, including money. 

So, therefore, when I, so that's what I said, there can only be two ways. One, there is no worry. I am not going to worry. 

I am going to take, Because, I will do whatever I want. Because, I will do whatever I want. Because, I will take, whatever I am given. 

In return, you, this ABC, blindly do it. Okay. If you do it, I won't even get on. 

Or, whatever, I don't let, I won't even worry. I have the money. Just give me the date, and I will go and perform. 

There is such an approach. Or, like me, no, no, don't give me money blindly, let's do it together. You manage my stress, I don't want your stress. 

Tell me, what is the stress of the project? Let's all put our heads together, and break it. But, this is the right split for that. This is the right, commercial arrangement. 

This, takes a certain level of, what do you say, not everyone likes to approach it like this. Okay. It makes them uncomfortable with money. 

Okay. It doesn't make me uncomfortable. Because, I enjoy, this for me, it comes down to the concept of fairness. 

Okay. And, I grew up in that ecosystem, where I was questioning the unfairness of it, in the early years. So, I, my advice would be, it comes down to your personality. 

My, I had a very, very, volatile relationship with money growing up. Very volatile. Growing up, when it comes to home, it was always, the stick with which I was beaten up the most, and therefore, I was very fragile about it, and, very insecure about it, and therefore, that led to me wanting, I was very possessive and protective of it. 

Therefore, I would ask hundred questions around, one rupee. When others would be like, why so many questions for this one rupee? But, I'll ask. I'll ask, and I'll ask. 

That led to me understanding the ecosystem, and the business of this ecosystem very well. Which led to me questioning the fallacies, of the arrangements then. Of the commercial arrangements. 

And then, which led to me figuring out, what does the actual ecosystem out there do? Because, people here are doing something else. Then, when I found out the industry standard, that led to me coming back and, applying that here. Which led to new opportunities growing, because new people, new resources aligned with you, because they were like, yeah, this is fair to us. 

So, this continuous alignment and reshaping, and this, this thing was, recalibration was continuously happening around you. Which was purely driven by my academic nature, on understanding, how does this business work? And, what is fair for this business to work? I am not saying, I want an arrangement, which is so exploitative, that it favours only me. I am trying to come up with an arrangement, that favours everyone, in a way, where it also, makes my non- negotiables, intact. 

Which is, artist is the, main guy. And, art takes precedence, and the experience of that art, takes precedence over, all the other things. Which means, if a partner of mine comes and says, let's choose this venue, the profitability is way more. 

Whereas, in another venue, the profitability is slightly less. But, some other intangibles of that, are much better in terms of, say, the seating, or the access of location, ease of location, or, say, 

the tech support. I will step in there and say, no. 

So, I am just trying to say, as much as I am so micromanaging, the, the commercial aspect of it, it is not just to increase my profitability. It is to take the right calls, at all points of time, even based on my value systems of working. Sure. 

Brilliant. You have talked in the past about, mental health challenges. You even spoke about it today. 

So, how does performance, mental and physical health challenges, how do they impact your performance, and how does your performance, impact your health, in positive or negative ways? And, what do you do to, How does it affect me, positive or negative way? Okay. Health wise, physical health wise, performance, well, it makes you tired. The next day, that night, and the next day, I am dead. 

I am so dead, because, it is like a downer. It is like, after all that high of the drug, you are like, after that, you are like, oh no. Yesterday, 1200 people were, putting their names together, but today, life is so bad. 

So, that happens. I guess, a bit of that is, physical and mental, which is where, working out helps. So, at that time, I quickly take, if I am touring, I take a walk, in the sun, and go, quick run and a walk, maybe, or, do some workouts, just to, send the right hormones across, to help you with the downer. 

Actually, from a mental health point of view, performing, has only done me good. Very, 80% of the times, I come out feeling, I come out feeling, wow. Wow. 

Like, it's like, can I feel this happy? Why am I so tensed, so anxious, I wish, I can be like this, how I feel on stage. You know, it's such a soul-satisfying process, when you, when you, when you create something, and you're delivering it there, in the leap of faith, and then, at somewhere in that audience, in that moment, audience are connecting with you, and you feel that connect, and they feel it too, and then it goes higher and higher. It's like when, wow. 

We met at a level, that I can't explain, right? Mentally, it does wonders to you, I feel. It does wonders to you. That is 70-80% of times. 

There have been times, where it has mentally affected me. Those are times, where I feel, I feel, If you ask me why I was affected, sometimes the subject of what you're dealing with affects. Like for example, when I did We Need To Talk, I was brutally affected by it a lot in the early shows because I was not comfortable yet about coming out clean to the world about who I am. And how I think about things and why I think like this and what I think of myself. 

And my own internal judgments and shame I felt about myself, I started feeling it when I was performing. So, mentally I was not feeling well at all. And the only thing that could mask it was the laughs. 

But the laughs weren't that high for that show initially. Because I was not really comfortable with the material myself. And people were feeling the nervous energy. 

So, it was either you fake it and you make them make it or if you don't fake it, you feel the nervousness with them. So, I felt a lot of low. I'll come back the next two days. 

I have gone on lulls where I just felt like should I stop this show, move to something else or should I stop permanently. But that's more down to the subject I chose. Because it was a lot to bear with a stranger. 

But even there, it's a beautiful growth pangs. It took me about 20-30 shows to get over it. I changed some structure, writing like I rewrote it in a different way. 

Changed some pieces in the structure and created a different narrative arc. And then delivered it with a new renowned sense of vigour. Completely day and night difference, how they received the show. 

And then therefore my perception of the show. And therefore my mental feeling while performing it and post performing. No longer feeling that all the bad things I felt about it. 

So, it's a very, some academic learning which I didn't think I can hate my own baby like that. But then I also grew with it and fell in love with it so much. Through the love others felt for it. 

So, it is a very symbiotic relationship. You can fuck you or do you good. Most cases it has done me good. 

Some cases just fucked me too. Brilliant. Last few questions. 

Do you have like any relationship with external stimulants before going on stage? Alcohol, drugs? Nothing. So, I am super duper nervous in anything I do and I am super duper old school in that sense where anything that comes in the way of my preparation. As you saw the amount of intensity with which I prepare. 

This intensity I won't have if I am having any stimulants because the only reason I take stimulants is to de-intensify myself. So, after a show you... After a show, absolutely. 100%. 

Because it is very difficult for me to not wind down. Because I finish the show at night and look at the ceiling fan and wonder why I am doing the show. Pooja is always curious as to how you guys wind down after a show. 

Yeah, after the show I am always obsessing with some thing to calm my nerves and invariably when you are touring it is easily available. I am not a drinker. So, the green stuff helps me a lot. 

So, that's pretty much how I wind down. But that's also just like right after the show I am done. Like the next morning and everything and I am listening to the audio again and obsessing over it. 

It's work mode. That's it. When I am work mode, I treat work very very seriously. 

But I ask them to keep it ready for me right when I am done. Because when I am done, I am like... Even if I have to do a meet and greet, there have been so many times where I have to do a meet and greet. Just now they have performed a show for two hours. 

Then imagine having the social energy to come and stand for another one and a half, two hours and do small talk with people and take photos. I am someone who will do it for them. But I also need something for myself. 

So, I ask them for two things. One, some smoothie or something to give me the spike of energy before dinner, right? Because it's correctly before dinner. When I perform, I get hungry and tired. 

So, something to give me a spike. The other is to smoothen the edges. The stupid one will say, roll it and bring it to me. 

So, literally we take a five-minute break outside and run out after the show. People will be lining up and everything. At that time, I have to go and drink and eat and all that and I am like okay, done. 

Spray and all that. I have to come in and take a photo with them. Then I go like this. 

Okay, thank you for coming. You have to do it because it means the world to them. But they don't understand sometimes how hard it is. 

Not everyone does it. Many artists are like, I have done my job, I leave. I can't stay like that. 

I am a people pleaser in that sense. So, I do this hack of 5-10 minutes somewhere and then come back. And that takes me for one more hour. 

Okay, brilliant. Yours is primarily like an individual sport on stage. Yeah. 

Does it get lonely on stage sometimes? We all have a bandmate to look at. On stage? Does it get lonely? Yeah. Do you feel suddenly lonely? Very, very, very, very rarely. 

Why? Two reasons. See, I only perform to people who already know of me. So, that's a very biassed situation. 

People are coming there already with a positive disposition towards me. I have not performed to people who don't know me. By that I mean, I am not a musician who can just take that guitar and say if he has his independent album. 

Keber can today do it in Chennai, Bangalore for his fans. What if tomorrow he goes to London or New York or somewhere and does it? That's going to be a different thing. But with music, you can do your thing whether they like or not. 

At least to a certain level. Here, I can say whether you are laughing or not. If you don't laugh, I will leave. 

The loneliness I have felt, I don't ever feel because most of the times I only perform solo shows. I don't make myself available in any other form. So, solo shows that are coming through my marketing channels, people who know me only will come. 

So, there is a sense of bias. But there have been places where I have gone to new markets that I have never done before. Some people there know me. 

Some people there don't. And they come with a nervous trepidation of who is this guy. And the organisers there, I am not familiar with also. 

Everything is new for me. Like the show I did in Zurich. I did it in Europe. 

Some Sri Lankan Tamil guy said there is a community here. I do stuff, come. Everything about that show was lonely for me. 

The venue he chose was so unconventional. It was like a banquet hall. With horrible acoustics. 

And people were more interested in the live food counter outside. And the DJ that is set up. He was not looking to make the show work. 

He was just looking to book me as an artist. To sell his event. All the other ancillary things that he had done. 

The parotta, kothu parotta stall, the beer, the DJ. All those things. There I felt lonely. 

Why? I realised I made a mistake. I didn't vet this partner well enough. I should have vetted him. 

But I was like Zurich, I have never done it in my life. I didn't even look around Zurich. I came in the morning and left the next day. 

It was a waste. I didn't even look at Zurich. The show didn't go well. 

When I was on stage, it's not necessarily an audience who would like me. They were just like, okay. And the place was not inspiring me to make my comedy work for them. 

Because normally if a place is great and the audience are not with you. I will sometimes get off script and be like, okay, let's go. Let's see where this goes. 

Because the place is great. I have that comfort. Everything about this. 

Then I can do it. When the place is not there and the organisers, you realise, oh, they scammed me. Midway through the show, I realised, shit, it's a scam. 

Starting, I actually realised. Because they had opening acts of some random women in the community come and sing. I was like, who are you? Is this a talent show? That's when I realised, man. 

They have done it. I fell for Zurich. So yeah, that was when I felt lonely. 

But otherwise, it's not the performing on stage that feels lonely. Because performing on stage is where I'm so enjoying. Okay, now a high point is going to come. 

In 10 seconds, another one is going to come. In 30 seconds, another one is going to come. I know when I'm performing. 

How are they going to do it at that moment? How are they reacting to this? When I'm performing, I get excited about what's coming ahead. So, I'll never feel lonely about that. Where it feels lonely is when you go back to the room afterwards. 

I'm single. You don't have anyone to go share what happened. All this hustling you're doing, and it's not like my parents are very cued into this. 

They have no idea. So, who do I talk to? So, I have a few friends of mine who are always looking out for me. So, I keep updating them. 

It was great today. It went like this. So, they care for each other. 

At least they show some respect. But I think, you went to your room at 10 at night and messaged Suri. He got up at 4 in the morning. 

I told him not to reply. I told him not to overthink. He said, okay, well done baby. 

All the best to you. So, that's the lonely part. I mean touring is the lonely part, not the performing. 

Okay. One final question. Yes. 

What do you think is the importance of live performing and live performing arts in going into the future of uncertainty with AI and fully digitised world, digital world? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I guess, I don't know. 

I can't tell you anything in certainty because this is a topic that has come up in so many parties and small talks and I'm being very very old school with this. Like, I'm being very rigid and I'm being very black and white when I realise I shouldn't be that black and white with respect to AI. So, I'm still at a formative stage of making my impressions around it. 

But if anything, what I already said before comes back into foreplay, which comes back into the play now, which is that art and artists have to be valued. I believe the value of AI is going to increase. Because when I see the kind of things that people are using on AI to fake it, like I see scripts being written there, I see alternative punchlines being written. 

Anirudh recently on his interview said he had four lines for a song that he wrote and he needed two lines more. He asked, hey, hey, hey, what is the line that can go with this? Which works? Which is like, in some cases, sure. But primarily, the bigger picture, what does it do? So, I have a fear there. 

And therefore, I wish this movement makes people gravitate towards art and artists way more and suddenly be like running back to your ex and telling them how much you love them and it was a mistake. I made a big mistake. Take my life. 

Take my life. I will come back and I will father this child properly now. It's one of those. 

I hope that happens with art and artists. Brilliant. On that note, I say thank you so much for opening your heart out. 

Thanks. It was super fun. I'm glad you did this. 

Thanks for having me. Hey, thanks for the ginger tea, lime tea. Thank you very much for listening. 

I really hope you enjoyed the show. You can also follow us on Instagram and at Stage Matters Podcast.