Stage Matters

Ep. 6 Anjali Manoharan - Its all about Connecting

• aravind murali

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On this episode of Stage Matters, we dive deep with Anjali, a Chennai-based indie artist and vocal teacher. Anjali takes us through her inspiring journey, from discovering her passion for performance at a young age to evolving past stage fright and embracing her authentic self on stage. She shares intimate details about her pre-show rituals, the importance of appearance, and how she channels personal emotions into her original music. Join us to explore her unique perspective on the magic of live performance and the challenges faced by independent artists in India.


Hi Anjali and welcome to Stage Matters. Hello, so glad to be here. So how did you get into performing? Well, I've sort of always been performing since a young age, but I think it was only when I was 16, 17 when I actually considered it to be like a career or a profession sort of a thing. 

So that's when I started going for guitar classes, vocal classes, and then I finally ended up going to SAM, which is Sornobumi Academy of Music, and over there it's just performance. Like we just did performance and that's like, that's when I realised it's also what I just want to do, like not full time at least, because I do love teaching as well. I am a vocal teacher, so I do love teaching as well. 

So yeah, but I also am an indie artist and I write a lot and I would like to showcase that as well. So I guess, I guess, yeah, that's where it started. Okay. 

So in this podcast, we are going to mainly discuss the aspects of performance. I want you to think back and tell me about some performance that you saw, which like made you look, aha, this is what I want to do type thing. Was there something like that? Oh yeah, for sure. 

There are a lot of performances from my former teacher when I was taking classes in Bangalore. Her name is Maryanne Alexander. And she's pretty huge now in the indie scene. 

Back then, I guess she was still starting out. But I'd seen a few performances of her either in like fandom or like places in Bangalore where the scene is good. And I would be like, wow, like, that's something that I really want to do, like just perform and like perform my own music and like also perform some covers. 

And with respect to like people who have inspired me, I would say like the biggest inspiration for me is Leanne La Havas. I love seeing her performances, her small like tiny desks, tiny desk concerts of her songs. And I'm a huge fan of NPR music, like the tiny desk thing. 

So I will see any sort of concert. And I guess a lot of Corey Wong also out of nowhere and Jacob Collier also. It's just a lot of inspirations. 

Okay. So how was your understanding of performance evolved from when you first first started and till now? Huh? I guess when I started out, it was mostly just out of nervousness and wanting to like I mean, of course, wanting to showcase my whatever I've written, whatever I could do was always always been there. But I guess with respect to like, just putting myself out there, it's become more, what do you say, second nature sort of because I have been performing a lot. 

Firstly, it was like really nervous. I was extremely nervous when I was on stage. I still remember 

in Sam and we had our first ensemble. 

And even though there were 13 people on stage, I was the main singer. So we've I eventually had to talk to the audience and everything. And that was something that I was not comfortable with. 

I'm still not talking to audience, engaging with audience has always been a problem. But now it's like it's just become like, okay, I'm just connecting with people like we're all human. We're all having we've all felt some way or the other with my songs. 

Like we've all felt it in some parts of the other. So obviously, they'll be able to relate even if they're not able to, like, it's okay. I'm still putting myself out there. 

It's just like I said, it's just become sort of second nature. Now I'm just like, okay, like, fuck it. Let's just speak about it. 

Doesn't matter. So like, how do you prepare for a performance? Suppose you have a show tomorrow or today? Do you have like a process? Do you have a ritual? Something that you do like? Sometimes and sometimes I don't like for some shows, I just like I have like a setlist plan, like a follow me in the like the songs that I've written. And then I just practise them one by one. 

And then yeah, this is on the day of the show or? Oh, no, like before the show. Okay, before the show. Sometimes I do that. 

Otherwise, sometimes I don't do practise at all. Because it's just like I've like, not exactly practised enough or anything. But like, I kind of know what I want to do over there. 

So sometimes like some shows even want like covers and stuff. So then I'm just like, okay, I'll bring it right there. But some shows where I really want to showcase like, for example, I just had that Rainbow Bridge show in March, and I really wanted to showcase my individual like, you know, like my songs over the originals. 

So I really practise for that one. Like, we decided in March beginning, the show would be in March ending. So I was practising on every day. 

But at least in a week, two, three times, I would take my time to like practise all the like originals that I wanted to showcase. Because I also what I try to do is I try to do new things with the songs, not just stick to the same old thing that I've written like four years ago, five years ago, it keeps evolving, right? So then I only get those ideas if I keep playing. So yeah, so sometimes I have like a practise routine, whereas also put like, I go on Google Meet, where I'm like, just alone, I see myself play and perform. 

Oh, okay. Yeah, because otherwise, yeah, you need to sort of get comfortable with that as well, right? And sometimes even practise in front of the mirror and stuff. Okay. 

Yeah. So like, sometimes there's just like a practise routine. Sometimes I'm like, okay, I'll wing it. 

It's sort of like, how I'm feeling about the gig. Yeah. What about like, eating before a show and drinking something before a show? Like, do you have some specific? Oh, yeah, I don't drink before I sing. 

So like, it's only after I sing that I party. But otherwise, like, even when it comes to eating and stuff, I keep it minimal. Because one thing though, there are a lot of myths with singing and like eating and like, oh, you're not supposed to do this, you're not supposed to do that. 

But the one thing that has always worked out for me is that don't go on stage with a full stomach. Okay. Because then it just it's impossible to take a full breath. 

And breath is like the foundational thing that gives you that support with your voice, right? Yeah. That's where the diaphragm comes in. And then the full support comes in with your stomach. 

So if you have a full belly, like you cannot work with that. So I always eat very minimal. I drink a lot of water though, before the show, just normal water. 

And after like I perform or after I'm done with whatever I had to like sing or like do even if I'm like a guest performer or something, then I go into like, I get relaxed and I eat whatever I want to eat, drink whatever I drink. So, yeah. So you also play guitar, right? When you perform? Yes. 

Yes. So are you very like particular about your gear? How do you do you take care of it? Like during a performance or it's like the gear? Oh, yeah, for sure. 100% like every time before the show, I make it a point like changes things and everything. 

Because I want that also to sound good. It's a part of my sound. Yeah, it's part of my sounds as well. 

So it's not just like, I mean, of course, being a vocalist, like mainly I focus on vocals, right? So I will only I only like very up until recently, I was only thinking about how I can change this vocally, that vocally, but like guitar is also my instrument. So I've been trying to do new things with the guitar as well. So I also have this fast fret thing. 

So like, if like I'm not able to like change the strings, or it's like really fast, then I just use that fast fret. So I always make sure to take care of my gear. Yeah. 

Okay. I also like got like a new pickup and everything for it to sound good if it's connected and all those things because it used to be a full acoustic guitar. Now it's like a semi acoustic. 

So I'm like always evolving with whatever I have. I can tell from my experience that there is always a gap between what I practise and what I can play on stage. Oh, yeah. 

Yeah. Okay. It is narrowing with experience and with more and more practise.
 How does it work for you? Well, so for me, like, sometimes like when I mean, of course, when 

you practise, like you're on your own, and you're just like, you know, it's just you that's in the room and like you're just practising and like new ideas come forward more, it's more easy to just portray them. But like when you're on stage immediately, it's like, you know, you're showcasing it's like it's vulnerable, like you said, vulnerable. But yeah, so over there, you there, of course, you want to showcase whatever you have, whatever you practise and everything. 

That's all there's always this resistance that's there. I mean, initially, it was a lot like it like I wanted to showcase what I want to do. But also at the same time, I was thinking, Oh, my God, what are they going to think? What are they going to perceive? How does it sound, etc. 

So there's always resistance and it was like, trying to like break it. Like, you know, but the like I said, the more and more I did it, the more and more I was just like, fuck it, like what is gonna happen? It's not like something huge is gonna happen. Anyways, I'm just still starting like, I mean, initially, when I was there, I mean, I'm still starting out, but it's slowly getting there. 

But while I was starting out, I think I started performing around like, when I came to Chennai, which was a year ago, May 2024. So since then, I've been performing. So like, I'd say, like, August, September of 2024. 

I was just like, okay, I'm just starting out. Like, let's really not try to be so hard on myself. The more hard, the more you try something, or the more you cling on to something, you like immediately sort of lose it. 

You have to at one point be like, okay, let's just let it go. Like, it's too much for me as well to like, keep holding on to it. So yeah, this mindset of like, okay, fuck it, whatever happens, happens on stage. 

It's a good, it's okay. We'll keep evolving, like it'll keep happening. So there are shows where I was like, okay, I could have done better. 

There are shows where I was like, oh, wow, I did so like, I was like, I did much better than I actually thought I would. There are some shows where I was able to just showcase what I practised. And then I was like, okay, yeah, I'm slowly getting there. 

Like, that's yeah. Okay, there is skill and technique, which we all practise for. But do you feel some, there is something beyond that, like something more profound, maybe even spiritual in the act of performance? I mean, I haven't, I don't think I've discovered the spiritual aspect of it yet. 

But I would definitely say the feelings. Like, you write songs, because I mean, at least I wrote songs, because I extremely feel something very, like, what do you say very strongly, and then just comes out as words. And then I'm able to write it down and everything. 

So yeah, when I perform as well, I try to go back to how I was feeling when I either wrote it or feeling about how I felt about that entire situation or that, like, if a person made me feel 

something, I'll write about it. So yeah, basically, I'll go back to how I felt in that situation and try to express that. So for me, it's just sort of reliving those moments at this point. 

Like whenever I perform the song that I put out, nothing ever lasts long, right? It's not just I mean, I did write it as like an ode to a friendship that was sort of, you know, it didn't exist anymore. But like, there are so many other things that I can think about where I had to let go of some situations and like had to move on. Nothing is permanent. 

Yeah. So I all those things like come into my mind. So I relive the small, small moments and that from through those moments, I sort of bring out that emotion. 

So for me, it's more with respect to the emotional aspect of it. So so I think you just answered my next question, which is how does your personal history and your identity inform your performance? So I think right. Yeah. 

So that question, you, you obviously being a writer, and you have to go into that, right? Yeah, singer songwriter, like we always go into things that we feel deeply. So like, what is your balance between improvisation and planning and rehearsal? The improvisational part? Yeah, that comes automatically on stage, I'd say it would be like 5050 for me. Okay. 

Yeah. Like, it's it's getting there, but I mostly want to do a little bit more of improvisation. But also, if I would like to improvise, I would sort of want to be in a safe space. 

And that's hardly ever there on stage. It's like you're open, right? So it comes out, it comes out sometimes and then comes out fully planned sometimes. So yeah, I'd say like 5050. 

So do you rehearse a lot with your band or with your co musicians? Oh, well, we used to I mean, I mean, there is still a band, but we I'm mostly been doing just solo sets. So it's just been by myself. Okay. 

Yeah. What's the most challenging aspect of the performance process? Performance process? It I think is still the nervousness and stage fright for me. Because I mean, like these again, these are not covers. 

If they were covers, I hardly wouldn't have minded. But these are songs I've written at a place where I felt extremely, like you said, the word vulnerable being thrown around, but like, for a lack of a better word, but it's extremely like, it's extremely you, like someone is seeing, like, inside you, like literally like the raw form of you sometimes, with some songs. And, of course, you're going to think, oh, like, you know, that judging aspect is always going to be there. 

You can't really take that out, right? People are going to judge you whether they like it or not. So even though I say like, okay, fuck it, like, it's okay, right? I'm just gonna do whatever I want to do. There's still a part of me that's still scared, like, you know, or they don't like what, yeah. 

So sometimes, especially what happened at the Rainbow Bridge, because I mean, I was like, 

yeah, sure, let's do this. But it was also like this quiet seating area where everyone was just listening to music. So it's like a small space. 

And like, it's like those, what do you say? Small space, like, it's not like a venue, venue. I know, I know. Yeah, exactly. 

So over there, people are more intimately listening to you. They're like, actually just listening to you, right? They're there for listening to you. It's not like a bar. 

Yeah, where people are like, okay, cool, whatever music, background music, but no, this is not background music, right? So those times, I was like, genuinely very scared, because I was like, okay, is this does this sound good? Am I doing this right? So at that time, when I was performing, a lot of questions were coming, because like, everyone's all your eyes on on you. So that, that those kind of spaces, like they scared me a little bit. But I also like it, because they are there for listening to your music. 

It's like the concept of an open bar, of course, they don't care. But also, you just feel so unheard. And like, I would prefer a safe, I mean, I prefer like these intimate spaces than that, or anytime. 

But yeah, like the aspect of, you know, being judged, and then stage fright part is, I think it's always going to be there. But it's just the, you just sort of have to get comfortable with that uncomfortable feeling. Okay, that's, that's something I guess will happen throughout the years and throughout as you keep like performing. 

Yeah, you like taking risks in your performance? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I do. I do. 

Once I like sometimes with my songs, I'll try to change like, how I said, I tried to change the song, like how I sing it. Okay. Or how I perform it. 

And sometimes I'll try to change the chords. Also, sometimes I'll try to do something different. Like, for example, the recent song that I put out, Polaroids, it didn't have a bridge, actually, like there is a bridge of the song, which is like the part where there's harmonies, and like, it opens up to the song, right? It was just ending at the second chorus. 

But I think it was during a show, like this, like a small show, or like, I don't really remember when it was, but I was just like, performing it, or I was, I was thinking, I think I was showing it also to someone. And immediately, I just started playing the bridge. I there was no bridge at that time. 

So you just like made it up on the spot. Yeah, I made it up on the spot. And I was like, Hey, this sounds really good. 

And I was like, I'm gonna use it. So that's how the bridge of Polaroids came out. Very good. Yeah. Yeah. Is there some time you've taken a risk and it has fallen totally flat? I mean, I don't 

think I've taken such big risks to actually feel that I think this was the only risk that I took. And it ended up being good. Yeah. Yeah. 

I like, I mean, I'm still a little like scared to take these like big, big risks. Because I've only taken it once. And it's just worked out. 

But yeah, I guess, as I keep going, the more I keep trying, the more I will sort of take these risks, because of course, I do want to change things. I don't want to keep it the same way. Yeah, it would be Yeah, it will be like a routine then. 

So like, during a show, lots of unexpected things can happen. Of course, you can make mistakes, something can happen in the venue. Right. 

So how do you deal with that? Do you like, is it like, easy peasy? I'll move on or you get flustered and not really. I mean, I think there was this show that we did in February, which was Vineland Brew. It was me and Anshul, we were showcasing our individual songs, and then our band Curry Blues. 

We did like a pole performance with all the like the full band, we did like a cover and stuff. So I was the first one to go on stage to showcase my individual, I mean, basically my original songs. I don't know why I keep saying original, original, original song. 

And I played the first one. And after that, there was a huge problem with the sound system. So of course, like, and that's also like Vineland Brew is like a very intimate space again. 

So whoever's sitting there is only coming to listen to music. So they also have to wait with you. Yeah, right. 

So of course, those moments are awkward, but I just try to sort of like, wing it or either just stay patient. Like, I know those moments are so like, we are extremely awkward, because you also you have nothing to do, at least when you're performing, people are listening. But you're also just standing there, they're also just like looking at you and you're just like, okay. 

So I just like, yeah, either you stay patient, or you sort of just try to talk to the audience here and there sometimes. And yeah, it is, I think it's natural to get flustered or like get and be like, Oh, my God, what is happening? What is happening? It's natural. It's human. 

But it's just the way you sort of handle the situation, I guess, at the end of the day. And even if it goes wrong, also, I'd say it's okay. Like it's, it's a technical problem already. 

There's nothing you could do about it as well. So just don't be so hard on yourself. Is this like, changing with your experience or always been like this from the beginning? Well, it's changing with experience, for sure. 

Because in the beginning, it I would just stand, I would sometimes I would just stand on the 

side until I get until it got like fixed. But at least now I just stand on stage. And I'll just like, like I said, I'm violin bro, I try to talk to the audience, I try to do something funny, where like, I just like, I started playing a chord on the guitar. 

And I was like, please be patient, blah, blah. I said something, I don't know what it was. But yeah, it's just like a matter of just handling the situation, either awkwardly or naturally, that's up to you. 

I mean, whatever comes out. So you led me to the next question. So like, what's your relationship with the audience? How do you perceive them? Are they passive or active participants in your? No, definitely active. 

I'd say like 70% 7030. I'd say a lot of people who come there at least, like whenever I invite people to the show, like a few of them come and like I find that at least 70% of the people are active in their listening and then engaging and they're being really nice because I recently played a gig at impasta. And initially, there are not many people but then later on slowly everyone came and like, all the tables were there actually listening to me and then clapping for me, which is really sweet. 

And I was like, like it was Yeah, but there are some people who also just like, they're like, okay, whatever. It's happening in the background. So yeah, 7030. 

And like, with respect to engaging with them, I guess, of course, that is a slower process for me, I guess. Because initially, I would find it really hard to just like, engage with the audience. Like I said, the first time I had the ensemble at Sam, like, of course, people a little bit from outside, they came on like parents, they came to watch the show and stuff. 

So to just engage with them, that was extremely hard. And I was just looking around like, what do I do? But that's gotten a little bit more easier, the more and more I see other people perform as well and see how they like engage with the audience. That's also like a learning thing, right? You can either use that like small, small things, you can keep that in the back of your head and sort of just put that on stage as well and make it into your own stuff. 

So that's like a slower process, but it's getting there. So do you recall any like, show where you had like such a magical audience who made it different for you? I'd say, well, it's not nothing's coming to my mind yet. But I don't think I don't think it was in January, I think January, we had this rock gig at Nochi Aadinte. 

And it was like this, like, again, it was just like a punk rock gig. So it was just a cover kind of a gig. But anyways, I really enjoyed it because I was just there performing songs. 

And these are punk songs, the rock songs, heavy rock songs, and I really enjoyed performing some of them. And I had and since it was our band, and we had a few guest members as well performing. I was like, sort of like the main singer, one of the main singers. 

So I ended up performing like a lot of songs. And I remember like, enjoying a lot on stage, like I was like, enjoying a lot on stage. And I could see the audience as well perceiving it and it felt so natural to just like, engage with them, talk to them, like the whole show went extremely well. 

Like, I got like a really good response, like after the show ended, like a lot of people came and said like, wow, you're like so natural on stage and stuff like that. And those kind of things really like small, small ego boosts. But yeah, that was the show where I felt like, okay, wow, this is really cool. 

Like that was like, it was like an amazing show. Like I was extremely tired later on, because we were switching between members and everything. But whenever I went on stage, though, no matter how tired I was, it was that audience engaging and that feel of the song coming through and like me just enjoying and singing like, I truly felt like, oh, wow, like, you know, I am actually here. 

I am not anywhere else. Like my mind is not thinking of what are they think gonna say? My mind wasn't like, oh, this is this is wrong. I'm singing this wrong. 

I'm doing that wrong. I was actually just purely like, like on stage. Yeah. 

So have you had the opposite? Oh, yeah, that so many times. Yeah, it's always sort of like not always sort of been like that. But at least initially, when I was starting, it was like that. 

Okay. Yeah. Like audience doesn't care. 

Have you been booed? I haven't been booed. There was this one show, though, where I think it was just like a cover show again, it was like a duo thing that we did. It was in Bangalore. 

And me and like a friend of mine, we had this small duo band called Velvet Tapes. And we were just doing like these jazz covers of like, like jazz standards and like some songs as a covers. And it's just like the the kind of like I'd say the performances are like the gigs that I felt like, oh, it's like, is where people just don't listen. 

And those are obviously at bars where they're like, okay, this is just background music. They're there to have. Yeah, exactly. 

Of course. And that's fine. Like, the pressure of you performing perfectly goes away completely. 

So you're just doing your own thing. But also the same time, like this feeling of being unheard is like more unsettling for me than the feeling of being like heard for some reason. Because I'm just like, okay, I'm performing I like I want people to hear me like I am there for people to hear me. 

And if they're not hearing me, I'm like, oh, okay. You know, the whole thing about like doing a gig. I'm just like, okay, cool. 

Whatever. So like, how do you react to their feedback? Like audience say something good or something bad? Oh, I just I like I said, for me, like after the show, connecting with them has been like really nice because like some of them, I mean, most of the time they come and say like, oh, wow, this is really nice. Like, you know, I really was able to connect with this song. 

The song was really nice. I love your originals. Or even if it's just covers. 

They're like, wow, we love like we love jazz. We love bossa nova. We love all these things. 

And like you played so well and all those things. But they've also been like, feedback where I was like, I think I did one Hindi gig in February, but where I had to sing like Hindi songs. And I am not someone who sings regional that much. 

But I do sing a little bit of Hindi and like being from Bangalore, a little bit of Canada as well. So of course, the pronunciation is something that I know I need to work on. So if people come and tell me that, then I'm like, yeah, I agree with you. 

Like both ways, I sort of I take it in because that's the only way I'll grow like it's like it's not just like, oh, I'm just gonna like ignore the bad things. I'm only gonna take the good things. I mean, what are you gonna get out of that? Right? Yeah. 

I want to talk about like stage presence, appearance and persona. So like there are people who are totally different people on stage from Yeah, yeah. And like some people are exactly who they are. who they are off stage on stage. Right. So what is your where do you fit in? How do you see yourself? I think, again, that's another aspect that I'm figuring out. 

But I definitely say I don't have like a different persona on stage. I think I'm just me on stage. But I'd say I'm getting to that place where I want to be completely me. 

To fully showcase myself out there and be there is still something that I feel extremely scared about. Okay, so I'm still at that stage of getting there. But usually, like whenever I perform or something, I don't usually keep like a script of like, whatever I want to say or something like that. 

But for some songs, like I know exactly why I wrote it. So then that same like not that same thing, but like that same, whatever I had in mind just comes out over there. So that in those ways, like I know what I want to say, I know like what, like, if I want to say something beforehand, then I sort of like prepare myself a little bit for different different shows. 

It's like different, different. But yeah, I guess it's my like, it's just being my myself being myself. Yeah, yes. 

Yeah. What about like appearance and dressing? Do you dress up? Oh, yes. For every gig, I make it a fact because like, people like their first impression of you coming to watch you. 

Yeah, exactly. First impressions happen in seven seconds, right? So I mean, I don't know, that's something. So the first thing they're going to see is your appearance is they're going to see not, oh, they're not, they're not going to be like, Oh, who are you? How are you and all those things, right? They literally just see you, your guitar and how you sound. 

That's their first impression. And according to that, it's for them, it's like either good or bad. So one thing that I like to do anytime I go on stage is to always like dress up. 

Okay. Yeah. I always have like, either like a dress or like I decide one day before what I want to wear or like what style I want to go for. 

Like, I recently did this just a guest member at this gig, there was this mango hill gig, right? The Danger Man, Prithvi and the Danger Man, Prithviraj and the Danger Man and they have such really good music as well. And they just asked me to sing for one of their songs. They always have this one female artist for this particular song, originals of this. 

And I was like, okay, cool. So this is going to be like, like this sort of rock, indie, alternative rock sort of a kind of a gig. So then I decided what I want to wear, like I immediately get like an outfit of what I want to wear. 

Either be it like a intimate space, it's going to be different. Rock gig, it's going to be different. A punk gig, it's going to be different. 

So I always have like something in my head and then I'll try to pull it out. Yeah. What's your expectation from an organiser? Organiser? Well, to get paid. 

Because sometimes that's just so unclear. But well, to be very honest, yeah. But I'd say from an organiser is to just, well, just tell me like, um, I don't know, to be approachable. 

Because some organisers, or at least some people that I've worked with, sometimes they don't even get back about this show and that show or like whatever the aspects of the show and then one day before they're like, oh, we need this or we need that. And I'm just like, no, I got so many things on just one day. No, but like, if they're able to tell me exactly what they sort of need, and like, it's like a process where we just talk and like, I'm comfortable with them. 

Like first thing being approachable and like telling me exactly what they need from my side. For example, like Tech Rider, all those things. Like if those things happen on the day or like just the day before, that's going to be really hard. 

Like two, three days, I kind of understand. So that's one thing. And getting paid on time. 

Oh, yeah, getting paid on time. Yes. Yeah. 

Yeah. Okay. This starving artist stereotype has been romanticised throughout history, I think. 

Right, right. But we all know how important money is in the whole to just like live well and make a living and stuff. So yes. 

What's your relationship with money? And how do you? Right? Yeah. How do you make it work? I always make sure to sort of save. Okay. 

But yeah, my main source of income is teaching. Like, if my main source of income was gigging, and I mean, if, if the independent scene was really good in India, and we were actually getting paid really well, then I don't think anyone, I mean, no musician would be sort of doing like a double work. Like so many musicians I know, they're like independent artists, but they also work at corporate. 

They're like artists, musicians, dancers, but they also work at corporate. It's because they like we don't get paid sometimes it's not even considered right. So we end up doing like, corporate or like for me, like, I mean, I love teaching. 

But that is my main source of income. I wish it I wish I could also, like, you know, contribute with gigs and stuff like that. But that's very minimal, unfortunately. 

So for me, it's teaching and I like, and luckily enough, I like this job. I'm like, I've been very lucky with that, to actually work at a like, work in a place or like in an academy where I'm actually 

enjoying teaching and I can teach the way I can like, you know, for each student, I can cater and like go with it. So, you know, that way, I've been really lucky because a lot of people they don't like their corporate jobs. 

I mean, yeah, right. So in that way, I've sort of been lucky with like teaching being my main source of income. So that's how I sort of manage that. 

Yeah. So like, how do you deal with like, suppose you have some kind of a personal struggle, or a personal issue, something? And does that affect how you perform on stage? Or you can block it out? Oh, I definitely like, you know, it's getting there where I can just block it out. I mean, because at the end of the day, I like, I want, like I said, I want to showcase my own stuff. 

And I want to showcase what I'm going through. But I mean, yeah, sometimes it does come out like with some songs. If I recently go through something, and if there's a song that I've only written in the past, and sort of I'm able to reconnect with it, I mean, not reconnect, but like, it sort of reminds me of it, then I just sort of pull through, pull that emotion through with that song, right? I don't let it stop me. 

Like, that's the whole point. Like, I feel very deeply, I feel like intensely about everything. So I just try not to stop it. 

Like, the more I try to control it, the more it just like, it's like, oh, I need to come out. It's like a burst. So I just don't, I don't try to control it that way. 

But it's never stopped me from like, you know, like immediately, like in between a performance, I'm like, Oh, I can't do this. I'm sorry. No, I have. 

It's never stopped me that way. Yeah. Have you had like any particular challenges being a female artist? Or any problems that you faced? Well, um, well, I'd say, I mean, yes, obviously, but nothing is coming to mind as of now. 

But one thing I'd like to say is though, that I want, I know a lot of female artists who do like a lot of covers, or they also do a lot of originals, and they perform a lot, and they have like songs coming out and stuff. But I don't see a lot of them on stage performing or like doing shows. Sometimes I sometimes in that aspect, I feel kind of lonely. 

Because whenever I see like artists like me, or like doing a lot of performances and stuff, I feel like like I'm doing like, shows almost all the time because I mean, like I'm doing only part time teaching. So my other income like has to be from gigs. I literally freed myself from a job, which was taking nine hours a day for six days a week for doing a lot more of performance and like I'm, I've got there, like it's slowly getting there as well. 

And I'm really happy about that. And I wish more, I could I could see more people do that. Because sometimes I only see a lot of male artists doing that. 

And that like in that aspect, I feel sort of a little lonely. But I'd like to see more female artists come up and do a lot more things. Okay, so yeah. 

What do you like? Like I know playing on stage and playing a three hour show to our shows like very physically and mentally taxing. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. 

So do you like have some kind of a fitness regimen, or some kind of meditation something? What do you do? Do you have something that you do? Not fitness really. But what happens with me is if I do shows like two, three hours, and like, sometimes even if it extends, because the crowd is enjoying a lot, then the organisers are like, can you extend a little more? Can you just play some more songs? So then it just goes on for like three and a half hours or like four hours. So I mean, of course, we get a break. 

But at those times, I just make sure that I'm not feeling hungry. Like the more starved I am, the more exhausted I feel, the more like, yeah, so I always make sure that my business is like a bottle. So I don't feel thirsty at all. 

So that's fine. But yeah, with respect to food, I always make sure like I get a break, I eat something small, not something full again, like I said, just something small, so that I can use that as an energy thing. Because for me hunger, like I'm a very hungry person, I eat anything I want at any time. 

So that's my main like energy income. So I just make sure to just have food. Okay. 

Yeah. Because if I'm starved, then it's very hard for me to pull through stage. What about like external stimulants, alcohol, drugs? What's your opinion? No, no, I don't. 

Don't do drugs. But alcohol wise. It's always after the performance. 

Okay, never. I don't never, never, never drink before the show. I cuz I did once and it was finally it was like it was great. 

Like the performance and all those great. I've just been like little tipsy or something like just a little bit. But even then, like, I just I do realise that I'm not fully on stage, like thoughts in my head get a little more louder. 

If I'm tipsy, like, yeah. And like, so that's why I try to like minimise drinking before like I do a song or do a show. It's mostly just after or sometimes during like in the break itself, I just have like a small drink. 

And that doesn't affect me after some time because then I'm like already set into the performance and like I know what I'm going with. So just before the show I don't I tend to not do that. So. 

So what is so unique about a live performance that cannot be replicated in in a recorded medium? Oh, it's just the fact that you're there and you're like, you're like all those aspects that 

you said, right? Like you either practise your performance or you're improvising or some idea comes into your mind at that time you perform it. There's so many things that are you know, you can do live that in a recorded session, you just have to keep it like one thing, you have to stick to just that one thing. But when you're doing it live, you're free to do whatever you want to do. 

Like the audience don't know what you're going to do, right? So you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. And like, you can like, play with it, you can do whatever you want. And like, it's also so much more engaging. 

Like, I love listening to bands or like listening to artists live. I mean, of course, recorded, I will listen. But if I am if they are doing a show sometime in Chennai, or like, I mean, since I'm living in Chennai, but if they're ever doing a show, I'll just go and like, listen to them because live is so much more engaging. 

It's so much more different, you're getting a different side to an artist. You're seeing different sides of them. Recorded version is just like one thing, right? Okay, this is their main sound, their main artist style, blah, blah, blah. 

But when you go live, you hear like different like versions of the song sometimes. Sometimes like that's what I was saying. They change up stuff, right? So for me, yeah, it's like, I listen more at a live show. 

Like, it's really like, nice to see that. It's nice to see because like, even the artist is enjoying it themselves. I enjoy like changing up my songs. 

And I've seen other artists also on stage changing up their songs and enjoying it. And like, to see that and you know, like see different ways of it is like really nice. I'm like, wow, okay, I'm seeing so much more of an artist than just a recorded session. 

But yeah, we're living in a very digital world today as you know. Do you think there is something in a live performance that has more value coming in the future to society and to people? Oh, for sure. For sure. 

I mean, just imagine having to only see shows through like a phone or like a laptop. I mean, I would get bored after two seconds. I would just channels. 

But like, when it's live, like, it's like a whole community of like, it's like, sort of creating its own community, kind of, right? Like people are coming to like, listen, or like, whatever reason they come, right? Like, if you're playing live, I mean, at some point, they're bound to listen or like, just be interested or curious about what is happening. And like, you know, if they enjoy, they enjoy and then like, they become like a new, you're connecting with people, right? So for me, like, every time I do a gig, we eat like a commercial, like just like an indie gig. I mean, of course, with indie gig, I connect with people more. 

But even if it's just like a cover gig, I have found at least one or two people. It's not it's never been zero. Yeah. 

Like, at least one person will be there will come and say like, Oh, wow, you did really well. You know, I do this. I like these kind of songs. 

And you sort of get introduced a little bit to their world also. Yeah. So in a way, you sort of like creating like a small, small, like a small community where like, people are really like enjoying what you're putting out there. 

And who knows, they might even come to your next show. Like I've I have had people where like, we've connected so well that they ended up becoming friends of mine. And like, we just like come to each other's shows. 

And, and in that way, like, you know, again, you're building like a small community. And that's really nice. Like, we need those kind of communities. 

We can't just sort of stick to like, being in a phone seeing these things just by person. Like, you know, I have four more. So I will go anywhere. 

But like, yeah, it's just that, though, I hope there are more live, you know, like shows or like these kind of spaces like these kind of events happening. Because first, firstly, of course, we as musicians, we want those kind of things. We want to showcase who we are, we want to showcase our songs, what we've worked on, all those things. 

But like, also, it's just a matter of fact of connecting with other people as well. For me, it's that's a huge thing. Like, I love talking to people after the show. 

I love, like, I love them that they sometimes just approach me. Yeah, like, sometimes I won't even expect it, especially like commercial gigs, especially like shows where I just like, it's just commercial or like, I'm just singing for like a hotel or something like that. Obviously, I'm not really expecting anything. 

But there are people who come one or two people. And it's so nice. It's so nice to like, you know, know that, oh, they heard you, they listen to you. 

And like, we're like, you know, connecting that way. So then there's so many things that they also can offer. It's not just you, right? So yeah, I hope sort of these live events and these live shows happen more. 

I feel like with the indie scene in India, that's very less. Unfortunately, I don't know how do you feel about that? About you mean people coming and talking? Oh, no, no, I mean, like shows happening. Shows are less only. 

Yeah, shows are less. Venues are less. Yeah, venues are less in India definitely and Chennai more also more definitely. 

Yeah. Yeah, but I wish that increases because... And the venues which like want more indie music and all that is less only. Oh, for sure, extremely minimum. 

And even then also they will be like, oh, can you just play a few like cover songs, like commercial songs here and there and just like, but yeah, that whole like essence of indie loses. But anyways, yeah, the like, I hope more curators and venues like pop up because like, these are like, very engaging, very, not getting the word, but it's so real. Like it's so natural. 

It's so, it's so, it's right there. Like, enjoy it while you can. Like don't stick to a phone or like okay, I'll see it later. 

Yeah. How do you define success or failure in a performance? How does it work for you? For me, it's different through different gigs. Sometimes like, okay, if I've practised a gig, and I know like, you know, it's just like, like, okay, like people are not going to listen, then I'm like, okay, whatever I practise, I'll try to put that out there. 

So if sometimes I lose the form of a song, or my mind wanders, and I sort of lose the form of the song, or I'm like, oh, people anyways, don't care. And I lose the form of the song, or like, I make a mistake. Then I'm like, oh, okay, maybe I shouldn't be doing that. 

Or like, sometimes I'm like, okay, it's okay. But sometimes I'm like, okay, maybe I shouldn't be doing that. Let's focus more on the performance. 

On gigs where like, there are people listening, then for me, I wouldn't say failure exactly. But like, in terms of trying to do better, like, I, like, for me is like, engaging with the audience. Like, that's something I'm still working on. 

Like, I still see other artists, like seeing how they engage with other, like the audience and stuff, because everyone has a different way. Everyone's unique in that way. And I'm also sort of finding my style. 

So if I'm not able to like engage with an audience, and I'm not able to connect, or like, they just like have to sit and listen. And they're like, okay, we just need to keep listening. I'm not able to like connect with this person as they're putting it out. 

Then that's I see that as okay, that's a place where I could improve. And if I'm able to do that, then I'm like, okay, yeah, let's go, you know. Okay, we're almost like at the end. 

Okay. Can you tell me like, well, in all the places that you've played, which has been your favourite venue? And which is your dream venue? My dream venue? Okay, favourite venue, a lot, but okay, I will put them all one is Pagir. It's like this small space in Tiruvanmiyur. 

I felt even though like the crowd was really small and everything, but the people who are there and the space itself is so safe, that that was the first time when I felt like, you know, so comfortable in my own skin to perform something very vulnerable. So Pagir is one place. And I 

really like Nochi, Nochi Yadamte, which is an express avenue, because that was the first time that I was like, wow, like, you know, like a concert, concert kind of thing. 

So I really liked that. Vinal Guru is also a really nice space. Other spaces, other spaces, there was a show I did in January, which was for Indie Girl. 

And again, like intimate small space, but just being, you know, invited to Indie Girl and performing and being like, you know, connected to these people was like the most amazing thing. And dream venue? Dream venue. Where you want to play? I've played in this venue before, but it was through academy that I was learning vocals. 

I'm talking about like, your aspiration, not like you can think, say anything you want. Oh, yeah, I know. I know. 

Like one, like, I have like a lot of things, but one, like the dream venue, like, at least in respect to like city wise, just like a small gig would definitely be fandom in Bangalore. That's what I was saying. I sort of performed there before, like it was through like this academy where I was learning. 

But I want to sort of showcase my own stuff at fandom. So that's one thing. And again, bigger venues would be like NH7 Weekender or like Lola, just like sort of get there. 

But I know like, it'll take a long way because I'm also like still in my solo set. I haven't found like a band band or like I haven't found people who will play music for me. So in that way, I'm like still going there. 

But like, I definitely know like maybe one day it'll happen. Like I'm not restricting myself to being like, Oh my god, will it ever happen? Like, no, I don't I don't think of it that way. I'm like, it's okay. 

It'll happen. Let's not worry about it. Yeah. 

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